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Showing posts from 2015

Recovering to normal

It was an incredible feeling leaving work early at 1:00pm on a Friday knowing that I wasn't going to return that Monday. Playing Savage Garden on the car radio and listening to the words " I want to live, I want to run through the jungle , The wind in my hair and the sand at my feet" truer words cannot describe the feeling of escaping the cage of work. I had it all planned out in my mind about the wonderful days following that Friday of what I was going to do and what I was going to accomplish. Then Saturday night happened. Early in the day I went to Richmond, Va to visit with my parents and siblings having a great time eating good food and gossiping about life. As evening approached and I had another taste of the wonderful home cooked meal and headed off to bed skipping with delight I was about to experience some pain I had not ever felt before. I've had indigestion problems for  a while but I woke up with heavy chest pain, my stomach was sensitive, and I couldn

Letters from the Burrow

The last couple of days I've been thinking about the way I want to express my love for you. I remember the letters of John and Abigail Adams and am renewed with a sense of love for you as time and distance is but what both individuals put into it. …should I draw you the picture of my Heart, it would be what I hope you still would Love; tho it contained nothing new; the early possession you obtained there; and the absolute power you have ever maintained over it; leaves not the smallest space unoccupied. I look back to the early days of our acquaintance; and Friendship, as to the days of Love and Innocence; and with an indescribable pleasure I have seen near a score of years roll over our Heads, with an affection heightened and improved by time -- nor have the dreary years of absence in the smallest degree effaced from my mind the Image of the dear untitled man to whom I gave my Heart... You are my friend. You are my love. We met in the most unlikely of places, developed a fr

Social anxiety

I never thought I had a problem with going into a crowded room of people and being able to socially maneuver through an evening until recently. I want to go out, make new friends, participate in activities but when I want to and how I want to. Any other way I end of overwhelmingly anxious and just want to go home. I know it sounds selfish but I think over the years I've grown to know what I like and what I dislike and anything else seems like a waste of time. But I am trying. My husband does a great job with taking me out and we have made friends with neighbors, co-workers and are even expanding our circle. For the Superbowl we went to a party in our neighborhood and it was pretty low key and awesome but as more people arrived I started feeling the anxiety. I wonder if its also mixed with claustrophobia? I don't like being in any room with too many people. It makes me feel weird. The strangest thing is that I am a Program Manager and I think I'm pretty adjusted at work.

Average people doing extraordinary things

“ Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives. Such striving may seem admirable, but it is the way of foolishness. Help them instead to find the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life. Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes, apples and pears. Show them how to cry when pets and people die. Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand. And make the ordinary come alive for them. The extraordinary will take care of itself .” ― William Martin I don't think I ever see enough stories telling people about non-celebrity individuals doing extraordinary things. Where are the articles showing how a single mom is doing a great job raising her kids? Or how a local member of the community has committed over 1,000+ volunteer hours? Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn among other sites have provided the world with such a great way of connecting but it can also be overwhelming sometimes. I want to not only be inspired by people of the past but also by the people of today. I do

Granada, Spain...Add to countries to visit?

It is no surprise to my husband or my family I want to travel the world. I was watching House Hunters International on Netflix and saw an episode on Granada, Spain and I want to add it to the list of places I want to visit. The Alhambra was a real draw and the historic aspect gives me the goosebumps. It was originally constructed as a fortress and then renovated as a palace. I loved how the show highlighted the people, the homes, and the beauty of the city. There is so many places I want to visit and maybe even live in for a few years. I love my husband for agreeing to look at our path every few years and seeing if it is the right path for us. I don't want to chase the money and my husband agrees.  Life should be about the experiences, the memories, the love. I want to enjoy life. I want to learn, grow, love and experience new things. The show did highlight some of the couples with children and it made me happy. This is the year we hope to get pregnant and its nice to see bring

Thoughts on my daily work routine

Husband and I at a Virginia Winery What powers our desires to be happy at work? I wake up at 6:00am and return 12 hours later often hungry, grumpy and wishing for alternatives to the daily commute and the daily grind of office work. My job itself can be great at times and my feelings are certainly no reflection of the company and customers we interact with on a daily basis but in the back of my mind I always wonder, is there a better way? I often change my mind on what I want to do with my life in terms of career choices. I seek to be intellectually challenged, have a sense of contribution to society while being able to enjoy and interweave my personal life goals into the equation. I have a bucket-type list of things I want to accomplish in life such as running the Marine Corps Marathon, visiting several countries, seeing the Mayan ruins, jump out of more planes, have 5 children with my husband and teach them how to be nerds of science and space, learn how to ca